My Future

So here is my life so far! I'm 21 y.o. and I'm a senior in college! I'm supposed to graduate in December, but I'm holding out until May just because I'm not ready to enter the real world. I guess you can say I have a fear of failing! I plan to go straight to graduate school, but I'm not sure where, I want to get my Master's in Business and Doctorate's in Spanish. Any who, I continue to surprise my parents everyday with accomplishments that I've made, and I must say they are very proud. I've always been a good kid and has done whatever my parents ask of me, but as I step out into the real world, do I follow my dreams, or do what my parents think is best for me. I'm a very accomplished black female with a lot going for me, and I plan on being very successful. My dad has passed down his real estate business to me, so now I'm operating and running that, I also own a few houses for myself. It's very profitable and I see myself being very successful in it. In my future, I don't want to be rich, and I don't want to live in the biggest house or drive the fanciest cars, I want to be comfortable, with a great husband who compliments me and I compliment him as well and we can work together as a team not the master type servant thing. I see my husband being a very spiritual man and likes to attend church, a man who will be a provider and a nurturer, someone who is strong yet sensitive and knows how to communicate with me effectively. I see us having four amazing kids (3 boys and a girl), and being a happy family. I'm not going to go into detail with my wedding, I'll leave somethings for St. Peter as my mom says :-). In my future I see myself as a teacher and business owner. From that I will be pretty successful, and I will be carrying on my dads legacy like he wants. The only thing is I would have to still live in New Bern and that's not what I really want to do, but it's a wise choice. I also see my future as a star lol, being an actress or a dancer. I've always wanted to dance, and I planned on going to Julliard, but my dad said I needed a real career, so I had to put that dream on hold. I've always saw myself as becoming someone famous and influential, and I'm just now realizing it may not be acting, singing or dancing, but a motivational speaker with my domestic violence program, hopefully when it takes off. As of right now my future is at a crossroads, but I think I will take the road less traveled a create my own destiny. :-)

This is dedicated to one of my friends who never had a chance to get out of her abusive relationship and to all the women who have fallen victim to abuse.

Dark & Lonely Nights
Cold Sweats
Waking up to your rapidly beating heart
Visions of him slapping, punching, and choking you
As he sucks the life out of your body.

Laying lifelessly on the ground
As he stands over you, screaming at you
Blaming you for things you haven't done.

Thoughts rushing through your brain
As you want this pain to end.
Maybe just maybe this will be the last time
Then it begins again

Looking and searching for a way out
But the light at the end of the tunnel doesn't seem to exist
He tells you he's sorry and promises not to do it again
But his broken promises never suffice.

That one last night
That night he chooses to start a fight
That night,
That night was the night that he took your life!

Get Out and Live

Ok so I'm very passionate about the situation of domestic violence. People don't understand why I'm so passionate about it, so I'm going to tell you why. Everyday you hear on the news about teens, young adults, older women/men who are being abused or sometimes killed by their spouse, boyfriend or girlfriend. It really saddens me to hear things such as this, because it doesn't have to be this way. To me men who hit women or women who hit men are very selfish and immature. There is no need to beat someone until their unconscious to get your point across. Needless to say that I've been there before and I know how it feels to be alone, and having no one to talk to, when the whole world is out there willing and waiting for you to scream you need help. When there was no one to turn to, I turned to the Bible and found God again, because at one time I thought he'd left my side. God was actually just waiting on me to call on Him and surrender my all to Him, and let him take control. Sometimes I still deal with the nightmares, and the sadness, but I know that joy comes in the morning! Now that you understand why I'm so passionate I can express exactly what my program is about. The purpose of this program is to free a lot of women/men who feel trapped in their relationship, build character, and self esteem. I want them to know that this program will be a safe haven for them come to in confidence, to feel safe, and know they are not alone. A lot of stories will be shared, a lot of barriers will be broken, and a lot of ties to dangerous and unhealthy relationships will be ended. If I can touch just one life, like someone touched mine, and let them know it's not that their fault, then my job is complete! I'm on a mission to stop this horrific trend of domestic violence that has become so popular. I'm hoping that people will see this blog and pass on the word because I need all the help and support I can get. I hope you enjoyed reading this blog and continue to read more of my posts.